…had Kindergarten screening on Friday. Be still my heart. Conner was excited about it all week long. I was excited, too. But, mostly I was just scared that I was going to forget and everyone would
know think that I am that mom.
On the contrary, I want to be known as that mom who has it all together. You know what I’m talking about, that Martha Stewart mom who decorates for every season, has her kids in the nicest and cleanest clothes without a wrinkle or fleck of dirt in sight, who sends cupcakes that look like soft bunnies or teddy bears for her kids’ birthdays, and never forgets her son’s backpack or homework. You know, that mom.
Unfortunately, Martha Stewart simply isn’t part of my genetic make up. Instead, I’m the mom who barely gets the kids out of the door on time, realizes once we are halfway to our destination that my kids are not only wearing the exact same clothes as yesterday (and possibly the day before), but they’re also not wearing any underwear. And that whole cupcake-soft bunny-teddy bear thing? Not so much.
Parental flaws aside, Conner is going to Kindergarten. And he can’t wait. According to the teacher who worked with him, he is “totally ready.” I never questioned that. What I want to know is, am I ready? This Kindergarten screening had me feeling all kinds of emotions. Excitement for Conner, nervousness about the unknowns (and the knowns) of public school, fear of losing control and having to recognize we will have less say in who/what influences our boy, and the realization that this roller coaster ride isn’t slowing down any time soon.
…is going to get on a big yellow school bus in August and he will leave his mother behind in a puddle of tears and snot. But, when I pick myself up off of the ground, I’ll say a prayer and then I will rest in the knowledge that I am a mom who has loved and continues to love her boy, has tried to teach him the importance of kindness and respect, and who trusts that he will be guided down the halls of his school by One who loves him even more than I do. And then I’ll go into the house and slobber and weep all over his younger brothers while I still can. Because I’m that mom.