A list of random and ridiculous stuff from the last two weeks of my life:
1. Kimmie is nursing a serious case of writer’s block, so I’m carrying the weight of the blog all by myself this week. Which I don’t really mind because I’ve been prone to the writer’s block from time to time myself. Staring at a blank screen with a blinking cursor and having absolutely nothing come to your mind is a frustrating experience, indeed. Good thing I’ve had a week full of drama. No shortage of blog material in my life right now.
2. I reached a new low last week when I found myself caught in a ridiculous traffic gridlock outside of Ellie’s elementary school. The driver behind me started honking his horn and screaming at me to turn. The problem was, for me to turn would have required me to drive over a dozen children and a crossing guard who were in the crosswalk. When his horn honking got particularly obnoxious, something in me snapped. I am not proud of the following: I put my van in park, unbuckled my seat belt, rolled down the window, and hung my entire upper body out of the window and started hollering at the jerk behind me. “Where would you like me to go?” I screamed at the top of my lungs, startling even myself. “You can’t just sit there.” he shouted, “At some point you have to turn!” To which I replied, “So you would like me to run over all the children in the crosswalk just so you can get to your destination a little more quickly? Is that what you’re saying?” He continued to holler something I have since blocked out. Suddenly from somewhere else, a deep, authoritative voice yelled, “HEY KNOCK IT OFF OVER THERE!” It was a police officer. I sat back down in my seat and with shaky hands buckled my seat belt and rolled up the window. I shook my head and wondered what happened to the days when I could control my emotions.
3. I opened my credit card bill last week to find page after page of $0.99 charges from Amazon. Then there was page after page of $1.99 charges from Amazon. Then just to spice things up a bit, there were several $49.99 charges and a handful of $99.99 charges all from Amazon. Altogether the total was nearly $1,000.00. I called Amazon to see WHAT ON EARTH these charges were. An hour later I was no closer to solving the problem. By the time I was transferred to the third customer service representative who simply asked, “How can I help you?” I was on the verge of losing my mind and all control of my emotions (are you sensing a theme here?). Sounding somewhere between a crazed lunatic and a wounded puppy I managed to yelp, “I just need some help. That’s all. Can you help me?”
This very patient woman rescued me from the verge of insanity and finally figured out that the charges were coming from Ellie’s Kindle. The source of said charges? The My Little Pony app she’s been using to build Ponyville. Yes, that’s right. Nearly $1,000.00 in charges for a virtual stable full of virtual ponies. When the screen popped up with, “Would you like to purchase more gems for your ponies?” She kept hitting ‘Yes’ and managed to rack up over 300 purchases for “gems” also known as REAL LIVE MONEY! You can imagine my great relief when the customer service representative laughed and said, “This kind of thing happens all the time. Let me get started on the refunds. And also, how about a little tutorial on setting your parental controls a little higher.” She then proceeded to refund every. single. purchase from Ponyville. I don’t know what else to even say about this other than at some point it occurred to me that if I had an extra grand to spend on ponies, it seems like it should be spent on a real pony. Aren’t real ponies better than virtual ponies? Or am I missing something somewhere? I’m thankful for an understanding customer service rep who made my credit card statement much more affordable.
4. I went to the dentist to have a cavity filled and for the first time ever I chose to be numbed for the procedure. We have a running debate in my family about whether getting numbed for a cavity is really any better than just bearing the *zing* of having the cavity filled without anesthesia. I’ve always fallen firmly in the No Anesthesia Camp until this time when I decided maybe I wasn’t in the mood for The Zing. Also persuading me was the fact that they offered me some Nitrous Oxide (aka Laughing Gas) and I thought it might be fun to try that. Turns out, I was right! I’ve never had so much fun at the dentist! I kinda wanted to stay right there in the dental chair for the whole day. In fact, I came home and told Conrad that I hope I get another cavity soon because I really liked that Nitrous Oxide stuff. That was the most relaxed I’ve been in weeks, and well, I could use a little relaxation every now and then.
And that completes this list of The Random and Ridiculous stuff going on in my life right now.