Christmas time is upon us and I am not ready for it. My shopping is nearly done but I haven’t wrapped a single gift. I bought lots of butter in anticipation of a baking day, but it sits stacked up in my fridge waiting for my motivation to kick in.
Honestly? I’m weary.
Which should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed this blog long enough to know this has been a difficult and emotional year for our family as we have made major transitions. I lived most of this year at a pace that was unsustainable. Like trying to run a marathon at a sprint pace. It simply can’t be done. My emotions were all over the place, resulting in uncharacteristic temper tantrums. My sister captured the pain of moving apart from one another here.
We got to Michigan and life settled down long enough for me to catch my breath and enjoy being home in my beloved hometown. But, our plan to homeschool the girls fell apart and we were onto plan B. I worked hard to finish graduate school and we celebrated when I submitted my final paper (and by “celebrated” I mean “I took a nap”).
I’d love to tell you that life has been a breeze since we got to Michigan. In many ways, life has settled down, but I guess the reality is that life is full of twists and turns and “Life is a Breeze” is a caption only for cheap vacation t-shirts. So why the weariness?
I’m weary of making difficult decisions that have life altering consequences for our family. I’m weary of watching my middle school daughters trying to make friends and fit into their new school. I’m weary of figuring out the policies of the new school and always feeling behind the curve. I’m weary of my youngest daughter melting down over insignificant things when I know that the deeper issue is that she is missing her friends in Ohio. I’m weary of all of our emotions running high and someone in this household always seeming ready to snap at the slightest trigger. I’m weary of being sick! This family has gone from one virus to the next and it seems like at least one of us been sick in this household for months.
Perhaps you could make your own “weary” list and we could compare notes. Perhaps you, like I, need a reminder that weariness is not forever. In fact, this Christmas season is about hope amidst weariness, and hope that a new and glorious morning awaits us. I wept in church when we sang my favorite Christmas song, Oh Holy Night.
So, my fellow weary friends, let’s take hope together that a new and glorious morning is on its way. May the thrill of hope overcome you this Christmas season, and may we celebrate together the breaking of the new and glorious morn.